Tuesday, 27 September 2011

Beating


“Don’t be late”, you say
Eyes ominous, full of promise
So relaxed are you
I lean back
Lights dim
Oblivious clicks on dainty china
Faint din and ambience
On edge of seat
Slow action caper
Mouths moving
Words coming
We’ve had very few lately
Shrill needle on the 45”
Funny
You did keep it low
Still, too quick for me
Parcel surprise
Two little pin trees
 To ear, of such ugliness
Despair
“Do you like it?”
“Of course I do.”
Stick it in, will you?
Pain cushion, dummy extraordinaire
That I knew
What I know now
Your heart never sang the same tune as mine
Two hearts beating as fear
Each throbbing to its own echoes
Of a present past
A future that will not come
Fearful heart, hope’s unelected enemy
Should have walked in the present

©Adura Ojo – 27 September, 2011

***Written for OpenLinkNight @ dVerse Poets Pub, and Romantic Friday Writers. 'Fearful Heart' is this week's theme @ Romantic Friday Writers, I am posting three days early! 

36 comments :

  1. welcome at dVerse Adura - and great poem you brought to the table...enjoyed how the story slowly unfolds...revealing the sadness of having lost each other on the way...very nicely penned

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  2. Sounds familiar: "Pain cushion, dummy extraordinaire" ... but I'm usually needled by my children. :)

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  3. Talk about dissonance. These two are off on every level, even in anticipation. Their hearts are beating, but in sync with other drummers.

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  4. nice piece...sad...when communication goes its hard to crawl back...the shrill on the record was a nice touch...the pain cushion as well...

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  5. nice writing - full of somber emotion. thanks for sharing it with us tonight and welcome!

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  6. Two dissonant hearts don't make for beautiful music. I can hear the discomfort in the voice of your poem. Well done.

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  7. Sadness is part of life and dreams don't always come true...


    chained the present

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  8. Glad to meet you at the Pub. This is sad and wistful. The "pain cushion" really struck/stuck me, too.

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  9. walking here with a smile. take care.. have a nice day ~ =D

    Regards,
    http://www.lonelyreload.com (A Growing Teenager Diary) ..

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  10. loved reading ... emotions beautifully depicted ... loved coming to your blog :-)

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  11. Very expressive poem about disappointment.
    Lovely images that speak to the different senses.

    Best wishes,
    Anna
    Anna's REWers Challenge No 21 'Fearful Heart'

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  12. @ Claudia
    Thanks, Claudia. dVerse looks like a lovely place to be, feels like it too. It is a sad story - one is all the stronger for it, I guess.

    @ Anonymous
    That's funny! Lol.

    @ Mark Kerstetter
    You totally get it! I'm speechless, really.

    @ Brian Miller
    Hi Brian. When it's gone, its gone. Such is life. Pain cushion comes in many shapes. We just hope what we have is enough to take it all:)

    @ Sheila Moore
    Thank you, Sheila.

    @ Lolamouse
    Dissonance like that is unwanted velcro stuck to the brain. It keeps replaying until it is cleaned out of the system.

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  13. @ gautami tripathy
    So true.

    @ Victoria
    Sadness and pain are emotions that we've all experienced at one time or another. It's a nice feeling and kind of reassuring that you 'connected' to pain cushion too. Sometimes we can feel that we're alone in our experiences and feelings, which is quite often not the case.

    @ 9jaFOODie
    Thanks dearie:)

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  14. @ Mr Lonely
    You have a nice day too, mister.

    @ Celestial Dreamz
    Loved coming to yours too. Really love the way you write and you're on my bloglist:)

    @ Anna
    Thanks Anna.

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  15. Apologies... I'm a slow reader, takes me a few days to get through the list.... Beautiful poem.... I've been in relationships where things just really weren't clicking. I think that is what you were describing. I like the "Stick it in, will you" part, because A: I'm honest, and B: no matter what is happening with a relationship, there is always that. And I realized just now that sometimes in relationships there is only that. And that's sad. I like your poem a lot!

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  16. Hello Adura.
    I've been absent for a while from RFW & am visiting you for the first time.

    It's sad when relationships reach this point of no return.
    My favorite lines: "Your heart never sang the same tune as mine
    Two hearts beating as fear
    Each throbbing to its own echoes"

    I'm your newest follower & looking forward to reading more from you.

    Nicely portrayed.

    Thief In The Night

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  17. This is incredibly intense Adura.
    I love these lines:
    Your heart never sang the same tune as mine
    Two hearts beating as fear
    Each throbbing to its own echoes
    Of a present past
    A future that will not come
    Fearful heart, hope’s unelected enemy
    Should have walked in the present

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  18. Hello again, Adura,
    Inspired by you lovely poem, I've written a second text! It has perhaps a little more to do with romance, but mostly about the fear of disappointment.

    Best wishes,

    Anna

    Anna's REWers Challenge No 21 'Fearful Heart' TWO TEXTS!!!

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  19. This is beautiful, such sadness and resignation of two people being so out of tune.

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  20. Hello Adura. As always, beautiful. I'm glad you can do double duty with your poem this week. My favourite line is: Eyes ominous, full of promise.' How that assonance rings. Love it. We have the romance element this week.

    Denise

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  21. Beautiful lines from this poem.

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  22. Well done. Poems are difficult for me. You did a great job. Three cheers.
    Nancy
    N. R. Williams, The Treasures of Carmelidrium

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  23. I love the ending!

    "A future that will not come
    Fearful heart, hope’s unelected enemy
    Should have walked in the present"

    Gives me shivers

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  24. A bold poem,and so many deep words to be found inside! Great piece.

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  25. So chilling, so sad. Lovely job, so many lines resonated with me.

    Fear can indeed kill love and hope.

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  26. Very nice, disturbing poem of two fearful hearts--clearly out of step and out of love.

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  27. Hi,

    As always your words spin a thrill and spill. These two clearly with not a hope in hell of perfect harmony. Just a hint of what could have been, and poignant sorrow at what is. Really very sad, yet sense of resignation! Touching.

    best
    F

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  28. @ johnallenrichter
    Thank you for being here. I understand what you mean. Your candid comment made me laugh.

    @ Andy
    Welcome Andy and thank you! It's nice to know I won't be the only poet waxing lines at RFW. The ladies are great. Still it's nice to have company in the shape of a fellow poet. You're already on my blog list so you will see me over at yours.

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  29. @ Madeleine
    Thanks Madeleine.
    It feels good to know that those lines speak to you:)

    @ Anna
    Nice to know your story was inspired by my poem, Anna. I love your story and hope Sanna and Thomas would be a novel one day.

    @ Margo Benson
    Thank you, Margo. Yes it is sad. Funny how beauty can be found in sadness and vice versa.

    @ L'Aussie
    Lol @ double duty. It's great to have the flexibility and I have you to thank for that as well:) It's good to be able to merge the two challenges this week. Ominous eyes set the scene for major disappointment later. It's the way it goes sometimes.

    @ Geosi
    Thanks Geosi:)

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  30. @ N.R. Williams
    Now when I hear feedback like that, it gladdens my heart, Nancy. You're the reader I most want to reach. Thank you so much.

    @ Ruth Madison
    Ruth, I imagine those are good shivers? Thank you:)

    @ babyrocka
    Thanks babyrocka.

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  31. @ Beverley Diehl
    I'm glad so many lines resonated with you, Beverley. Fear can indeed kill love and hope.

    @ Scheherazade
    You sum it up well, Scheherazade. Thanks.

    @ Francine
    Thanks, Francine. It was good while it lasted, I guess;)

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  32. It always painful to admit when two in a relationship aren't on the same page.

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  33. J.L. Campbell:
    It is, Joyce.
    Nice to see you.

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  34. Dear Adura,
    Thank you for your last comment on my post about how Sanna and Tomas probably look alike. Lately, I have been down in the dumps about what to do with them. Your comment gve me courage to not jut throw them away, but to just keep writing and give them time to develop!

    I read your poem again and found that it spoke to me about my unhappy marriage that I only recently left after almost 20 years. (Talk about a bad choice!)

    I don't know if I'll have time to write anything for 'Rock Candy'. There are several things that I must write for the university and for the tax-people(!). If not, I'll be back for a later challenge.

    Kind regards,
    Anna
    For the benefit of others readers:

    Anna's REWers Challenge No 21 'Fearful Heart'

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  35. Anna:
    Hi Anna. You made the right decision to let Sanna and Tomas grow. I think writing gets better the more we practice.

    Sorry about your marriage. It must have taken a lot of courage to leave after 20 years. I wouldn't say it was a bad choice because 20 years is a long time and there were probably happy times as well as not-so-happy times - as with most things in life. The important thing is that you made the decision that was right for you. I wish you lots of happiness now and in the future ahead. *Hugs*

    I also won't be taking part in this week's challenge as my time is taken with other things. Maybe next week, we'll see.

    Have a fantastic weekend Anna, despite your busy schedule.

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