Saturday, 11 August 2012

Note To This Idiot

Really wanted to write this. My hands kept shaking and at one point I wondered if the ink would spill out of the pen I was using. My overactive imagination never fails to surprise me. I get anxious thinking about what to write. I would curl up in the endless ball of paper that was my mind until it became nothing...tossed into the abyss of my short term memory. I call her 'piggy' - The bank that forgets to pay its debts and swallows up the entire paper trail - No trace at all, ever. Clever.

So back to the task at hand. What to write? To her? Yes, to her. How would I start? Hi? Hello? It was nice bumping into you the other day. I'd almost forgotten about you. Just a short note to say hi. Options, options! What's a girl to do? That's how I got into this mess in the first place. Looking at my options. Except that I did it loudly of course. I should have kept my 'options' to myself. Note to this idiot: You should carefully consider your options in your own head.

There she was - 30 - young, free, sexy, career on the upwards. Nothing could be better, couldn't be happier. A girl gets to that point where she's just happy with her life as it is, even if she does not exactly know it. But of course she has to ruin it with 'options'. Moaning about her lack of or simply brooding over it. And then she must also contend with other people's perceptions of her 'options.' "Who are you seeing at the moment? Anyone we know? You're not getting any younger, you know."  And my favourite - (*Drum roll*) "Given your credentials, do you think men might find you intimidating?" Urm...what to say? "Yes, I'm seriously considering my options." How could I not?

Ten years on, cashed in options have become high interest loans. Very expensive - and in the timely investment called life, these are non-recoverable deposits. Only one way out.

Hello Options girl,

You have a new investment. Good news...It's ripe with dividends.


©Adura Ojo 2012

Posted to the Prompt: I Need a Change. Join us at Romantic Friday Writers. Lots to read. You can write a story or poem too.


  1. I have tried to figure this out. Sounds to me like the meeting was not particularly pleasant. I hate comments like, "You're not getting any younger" said with a smug kind of look. Anyway this sounds like someone you won't care if you'll run into again and, in fact, might actively avoid!!

  2. Well, I can tell that somebody needs a change!! This was absolutely brilliant.. and so different! No one else would have thought to do something like this!

  3. Hi Adura, I liked the original slant to this piece, though I confess at some confession. I wasn't sure if your MC was meant to be a lesbian? She was definitely a sympathetic character and I hope she finds happiness and fulfillment.

  4. What a dilemma she gets herself in to - I hope she takes her own advice. Great piece.

  5. Hi Adura
    Well, what can I say. I though this was well written and so unusual. Don't we all talk to ourselves over every decision? Excellent story.

  6. NICE! I love a strong female character who wants to make herself better.

  7. My dear friend,
    The twist and turns had me looking for more. Nevertheless, she was strong and that is really all that matters. Sweet love could change her life and clear up all confusion (smile). Great talent you have!!

  8. Life choices are the hardest. I love this letter to self; I've often started a letter to someone else, only to have a stream of consciousness thing turn it into more of a diary entry than anything.

    This was intriguing for its many twists; she has so many changes to make - career, sexuality, relationships, finances. How to prioritize? And then to have someone completely unexpected show up and remind her of where she started, and the "option" of going back and starting all over again.

    I liked the wistfulness of this. Probably because I've spent so many late nights rethinking my own life, I can identify with your characters strong will and touch of vulnerability.

    A unique take on the changes theme.


  9. Hi Adura. This is an amazing piece of writing. There's a lot more here than I can fathom in 2 readings. Maybe you didn't mean to be so mysterious, but I must admit I get an overwhelming feeling of confusion on one hand but self affirmation on the other as she considers her options. I'm thinking she may be gay, but I might be wrong. Her throwaway line about ...'men might find you intimidating' may be a key. Hmm. Honestly, I'm not sure, but I think you've captured that confusion we all have at some time in our lives, perhaps when we reach a milestone, or run into someone that makes us rehash old things. Putting pen to paper is often a good idea.

    Thanks for intriguing us all with your wonderful prose Adura...


  10. This is intriguing and seems cathartic for her. Sometimes we force changes and then we are forced to change...Wonderful writing and the image of the MC is clear as to her options but unclear as to her - as in person, leaving it open to interpretation.

  11. This is an interesting letter to self, a litany of what-ifs, options. It needs a little more clarification for me, but then that's always the problem with 400 words.

  12. Dear Adura,
    I really like this text, although I don't understand everything in it.
    Here is someone (at first I was not certain whether or not it was a man's or a woman's point of view) who seems to think a lot and is trying to put herself and her life into perspective.
    Well done!

    Thank you so much for you kind words and interesting thoughts about my story. It warms the heart and keeps me writing!

    Best wishes & hugs,
    RFW No.42 - 'I need a change'

  13. A big thank you to everyone who commented. I appreciate all your comments! They mean a lot to me.

    These days, I try to steer away from offering any interpretations of my work as I think everyone would make something meaningful of what they read and every interpretation is valid, irrespective of what I think. That's the beauty of it for me. I get so much insight from your comments too, new ways of looking at the material at times. Thank you!

  14. Loved this piece Adura,
    Options, we all have them, but do we always make the right decision? I almost felt you were in my mind writing this, that loop we get into trying to decide if the choice we made was the right one, if we said it all wrong, if we screwed up royally and if anyone noticed. I know I'm late getting here, but I'm new the RFW group and wanted to catch up.